:: my thoughtz ::

:: 2.27.2004 ::

Life & Death...
The Circle of Life...


Uhm... Not gonna sit too long on this... But, I was told later today that they had a family meeting at the hospital, and we (family) had to make a decision on what to do next about my grandfather... He isn't doing too well, and unless he wants to be on a respirator and live in an old folkz home for the remainder of his life, we might want to let him go peacefully... This is like the hardest time in my life right now, so I really don't know my left from right... I've never lost anyone close to me to death, and for the first to be my one and only grandfather, it really hurts... When my mother told me of the decision, I let it roll off my back, I hung up...and then it hit me... As you would expect, I cried and cried and cried...but eventually I stopped... I mean, I love my grandfather...and if you knew anything about him, you would too... He's a great person, and if I grow up to be half the man he is, I'd be lucky... Anyway, we are gonna have another meeting tomorrow to decide what's gonna take place, and then take it from there... Alot of family is coming down, so we can all get together one last time or whatever... People die, so otherz can live...and thatz the circle of life... Someone had to die for me to get here, and I have to be thankful for that, be thankful for the person who gave his/her life for my grandfather to be here, and I'm sure the newest member into this world will be thankful for my grandfather'z departure... Thatz my piece...

I will alwayz love you grandpa!

-Ryan-

P.S.
Thankyou so much for bein' there for me Lauren... I really appreciate it...

My nigga Cliff... The day of the 55th Anniversary Party...


:: 11:07:00 PM [+] ::
...

Break-up to Make-up...
That'z All We Do...


"...first you love me...then you hate me... thatz a game...for fools..." *wink*

That'z enough about that...

Wat'z Good Peoples!?!? Itz' Friday!!! *sigh*

Uhm... nothing new to report... I'm thinkin' Gigi'z either got a bladder problem, or she's forgotten her housebreaking rules... She's peeing at an all-time puppy high, and I have no idea why... Her co-owner sayz that I don't discipline her enough when she does it in the house, and thatz why she keeps doing it... I beg to differ... I'm not gonna scalp her everytime she peez in the house, but I DO give her a couple popz, and she runs away knowin' that she did the wrong thing... Anyway, I think itz just a fluke...hopefully its nothing too serious...

I'm supposed to be going to Miami for spring break, but thatz still up in the air... My people are still "iffy" about the financial aspects of the trip, so until we get that in order, everything iz at a standstill... I'll keep ya posted...

Thiz iz a random thought, but I really like CRV's... Not even the new ones... like the 97-98 modelz... Sorry for going off on a tangent... That just popped off in my head for some reason...

I was up from like 9-3...no, scratch that... not "like"... I was on the phone wit' Rain from 9:05PM - 3:07AM this morning... That'z the longest stretch of random talk-time ever... We talked about everything from **** to **** (had to censor that for immature audiences... This is a family show) *smile* It was really kool tho... I feel like I learned just that much more about her than I did the day before... Thiz love shyt is sick...*smile*

Uhm... I got class in a few, so I'ma bounce... If you haven't seen Chapelle'z Show, you're really missin' out... They show re-runs on Comedy Central everyday, so its easy to catch up... If you love to laugh and have a good sense of humor, you'll love it... He makes fun of about anything you can imagine...from politics, to race, even to Lil' Jon's "YEAH!!!"... "That's one crazy Niggar!" lol... If you watch the show, you'll feel me... Anyway, I'm out... Oh, and remember... "I'm Rick James, bitch... I wish I had 4 hands... So I could give those titties 4 thumbs down!!!"

Lataz...

Chapelle Show...
- "The Stickiest of the Icky..."

:: 1:30:00 PM [+] ::
...

Snow Day...
Kinda Sorta...


Kinda Sorta? How do you kinda, sorta have a snow day??? Easy. Georgia Tech! *smile* I take cross-registered classes at GSU, and since their academic officialz have hearts, they cancelled school... But did GT close for the day!?!? Oh hell no! President Clough (GT'z President) wouldn't close the school if all the classroomz were on fire... They'd just give us fireman jacketz, oxygen masks, and chop axes...and off to class we'd go... I guess they're preparin' us for the real world, but damn... A nigga gotta undergo treacherous driving conditions, slip and skid on ice patches, just to find the derivative of a linera function!?!? *sigh* Thiz shyt better pay off one day...*smile*

Oh, by the way... If you can't tell from my bitterness above... It snowed today...*smile* About 1-2' or so... That may not seem like alot to you NY and up north folk, but down here...niggaz stock up when snow stormz approach...lol. Itz going away now... just rainin' rockz and shyt now...(sleet/hail...whatever the hell itz called).*smile*

Uhm... I went to class and now I'm back home... Nothin' else major happened (that I wanna talk about at least)... Oh, Gigi pee'd again... Other than that...thatz about it...

Lataz...

Boondocks...


:: 4:58:00 PM [+] ::
...

Amazingly...
I'm Not Tired...


I'm awake! I went to my 9AM... And as boring as it may be... I didn't nod off or anything!!! Aren't cha' proud!?!? I'm doing better... I guess my body is getting used to going to bed a little earlier now... Gigi'z a little puzzled by it, but she'll adjust... Rain passed out at about 10:30 last night, and I went at about 12... 12:30. That'z a vast improvement from 3AM, so I'm definitely improving... If I stick to Rain'z new plan of "No Phone, TV, or Internet until HW iz done", I might be able to say goodnight and actually fall asleep at the same time... WOW! *looking towards the heavens* (smile)... I have class in an hour, and nothing with me to study until then, so I guess I'll babble on about something arbitrary, to kill time... Do you mind? Well, since I don't hear any objectionz, I think I shall... Silence meanz consent...

Letz see...what first?

"Hey, tell us about Monica Lewinsky!"
*smile* If you've seen "Kings of Comedy", then you'd understand... Otherwise, I'ma need you to get some culture...*smile* Well, I don't know anything about Ms. Lewinsky, but I can tell you that I haven't talked to "Dilemma" in quite some time now... And I guess that'z a good thing and a bad thing... I mean she'z called, but I wasn't around to answer, and I guess I can say the same for her when I've tried to return her callz... Itz good in the respect that our friendship sort of caused a rift in my relationship...and thatz starting to disappear... I'm not the earth's crust...no need for any rifts...(damn, that was lame...lol) On the other hand, it could be a bad thing, because maybe I over-reacted about the whole situation and now I'm short one friend? Hmmm?

"Someone" sayz I have too many friendz as it iz anyway, so I guess I'll be okay... Nevertheless, "Dilemma" iz a really sweet individual, and I'm sure if we're meant to be friends, we will...and if we're not...we won't... Not that she was ever a threat to my gyrl or anything, but I think our sudden closeness, out-of-the-blue, made Rain a little uncomfortable... I know I'd be a little uneasy if she just started to talk about some random nigga that I'd never heard about before...especially AFTER we had met... Ok, I'm diggin' myself into an "exactly" ditch here, so let me crawl out before I bury myself...

Moving On...

"Speaking of "Rain"... How are things? Is that even her real name???"
Thingz are really good... Mmmm... QT... As for the second question... Just because the WHITE MAN calls us Toby...does it mean tha... Ok, ok... Let me calm down... Woooosaaahhhh....5...4...3...2...1... Ok, I'm good... *smile* Nah, Rain iz not her real name... I used to refer to her as Penny, because she used to have these glasses that just made her look like a "Penny"... Then I started callin' her Rain as a BloG alias... It sorta stuck...so I kept it... Maybe if she's lucky enough to be around when I'm ready to get married and have kids, we can slide that name in somewhere...who knows?

"What's her real name?"
Damn, you writin' a book!?!?

"Yes."
Oh well... Leave that chapter out! (I've always wanted to use that... My uncle used to say that lame shyt to me all the time when I was little...) *smile*

"Last thing... How's Grandpa?"
Uhm... he's good...considering, I suppose... I mean, he's somewhat responsive... his kidneys are still not functioning properly, so he'll most likely have to have dialysis every other day for the rest of his life... But, ya know... he'z an old man... What might take me a week to heal from, could take him a month... He was in a serious car accident in a 3rd world country, so that's nothin' to jump right out of... He'll be okay though... Just gotta take it one step at a time... Baby steps... Baby stepz... *smile*

Damn, still only 11:20... Guess I'll surf the net til class starts... Holla at'cha boi!

Lataz

Boondocks...


:: 11:22:00 AM [+] ::
...

Why?!?...
Sleep Talkin'...


I have class in lyke 5minz, so I can't write much... I keep waking up early in the morning and I can't fathom why... I woke up at lyke 6:30AM thiz morning and either called Rain, or she called me... All I remember is her voice.... I have no clue what she was talkin' about... I laughed, and went back to sleep... I think I need to invest in a psychiatrist...lol. Anyway, nothing else major has happened, so I'ma go to class and pretend I understand the wonderful world of civil engineering... Wish me luck!

Lataz

Boondocks...


:: 1:23:00 PM [+] ::
...

Up Early...
Once Again...


I went to my 9AM class again!!! This is a monumental moment in history!!! *cue confetti & fireworks*

Ok... With that said... I'm officially tired again... I tried to go to bed on time last night, but I still just sat in the bed until 2AM, lookin at the ceiling and gettin sniffed by Gigi, a.k.a. Rin Tin Tin... I guess my body will eventually get back in the hang of goin' to bed early... When I was in high school, I used to go to bed at 11 (at the latest) and wake up at 6AM... Now, I can barely fall asleep before 12 without thinkin' I'm missin' somethin'... Rain goes to bed around 10-10:30, so I'ma try and get on her schedule... The day is so much longer when you wake up early... If I didn't go to this class, I would still be asleep right now...feeling good, but wasting away valuable lifetime...*smile*

Speaking of Rain... I've been thinkin' about her alot lately, and I really can't explain why... I find myself sitting in my classes, attempting to pay attention to the wonderful world of Thermodynamics, and before you know it, I'm daydreaming about Rain'z punk azz... I really need to get a hobby...*smile*

I was a little unsure of what I wanted to do post-graduation, but I sat down with Gigi and had a long talk (man to dog) about what we think would be best for us... We decided that we would go one of two ways:

Option #1. Our first choice will be to apply for jobs in the area of Industrial Engineering (my major) and Public Health (my real interest area). In the meantime, while we wait for companies to get back to us, I will pick up a minor, yet substantially stable full-time job, to pay for the rent, the utilities, and of course, Gigi's food & hair care necessities... If no one gets back to us with a reasonable offer, or if we don't find a job with an employer that interests us (you have to enjoy your job, bottom line...), we'll move on to Option #2.

Option #2. Graduate School. I have not applied for graduate school yet, but I am now reconsidering going on to grad school, and there are a number of reasons why:

1. I have no work experience in the area of Industrial Engineering. - Companies are looking for one of two things when hiring these days. Work experience... and Good Grades... I have neither. Its much easier to find work with a Masters of Science and no experience, than it is to find work with a Bachelor's and very little experience.

2. The pay is greater. Yes, I will have to suffer two more excruciating (sp?) years in college, but so what? I have been told by too many people, to go ahead and get it now while you still can. Once you get out in the workforce and start making money, it's hard to come back and go to school. My mom had been out of school for over 20 years, and she is just now going back to get her Masters... I think I wanna get mine while I'm still sexy and young lookin'...(not that you're not sexy and young, mom!) *muah*

3. GT has the #1 I.E. Master's Program in the Nation. It's also easier to get accepted when you are a graduate from their (Tech's) undergrad program than it would be for someone from another school's program to get accepted. I might as well try to get in now while they're still #1, and while my professor's still know my face! (Recommendation letters really make the difference.)

I could go on and on, but other than for financial reasons, you can't go wrong with grad school... I hate Tech with a passion, but its a good academic institution, and you can't knock it for that... Plus, I think I just might have some inspiration to make it through those grueling two years...*whistles*

Ok, time to play on the net until class starts...

Lataz

Boondocks...


:: 10:52:00 AM [+] ::
...

Winning Ticket...
Rough Draft...


I have to write a poem for my Independent Study course for tomorrow, so thiz iz what I came up with for the rough draft... It might not make much sense, but thatz why itz called a ROUGH draft...*smile*

Enjoy!

Winning Ticket

I hold in my hand…the winning ticket…
A ticket that was given to me…
I hold in my hand…the winning ticket…
Ten… Zero-Six… Zero-Three…

Now I’ve been given tickets before…
But none such as this…
One for speeding…another for parking…
Even a ticket for a swinging fist…

I was once given a ticket…
From a dime with a body to see…
But when I went to cash it in…
It had no value to me…

But this ticket was no ordinary catch…
Much newer, than all the rest…
It had class…pizzazz…wits to match…
Hell, It passed my aptitude test…

Well-kept and fresh…
Smooth to the touch…
Sharp and crisp…
Sweet scented-ness…

Its presence brought life…
To a newly departed soul…
Amazing the happiness one ticket can bring…
When filling an empty heart’s hole…

I was given this ticket on the sixth of the tenth…
But the eighth of the fourth was the day…
It was printed and pressed…Cut and formed…
Prepared for the day to be claimed…

By its rightful owner… Though never we met…
When I saw this ticket, I knew…
It belonged to me…and had to be had…
Opportunities like these are few…

To come in contact with a winning ticket…
One that could change your life for good…
Is a rare occurrence, and if not acted upon…
You later might have wished you would…

My ticket is small…But, large at heart…
And is worth the world to me…
Its value increases like rich, French wine…
And to sip from its cup I’ll be…

Its passed through many hands…since the day of its rise…
Only a fool would throw away a winning prize...
But, it’s in my possession now…and I think you should know…
I’ll never let this winning ticket go…

I hold in my hand…the winning ticket…
A ticket that was given to me…
I hold in my hand, the winning ticket…
Ten… Zero-Six… Zero-Three…


:: 11:29:00 PM [+] ::
...

Sunday...
Day of Rest...


Today was another pretty day... Unfortunately, I was too lazy to leave the house, so outside of walkin' the dog, I enjoyed this Sunday indoorz... I've been slackin' all day, so I'm gonna get on this work... Holla atch'a boi!

Lataz

Boondocks...


:: 8:16:00 PM [+] ::
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