:: my thoughtz ::

:: 1.01.2003 ::

Tyrese
How You Gonna Act Like That..


That'z the name of the song...Thanx Rakia...lataz



:: 11:42:00 PM [+] ::
...

Happy New Year
2003!!!


You ready?

Yeah...yeah...I know...how long has it been? 3...4 days? ok, maybe 7...big deal. Uhm...I can't really remember that far back, but I will try and go back as far as I can remember...ok?

Aiight, I'll start with Christmas...I went to my mother's house for X-mas dinner with my friend N...it was cool...afterwards, she, L, my cousin Mo and I went to the moviez to see Antone Fisher...it was GOOD! It really was...N AND L cried...punkz...Denzel did a good job with that movie, for real!

Ok, Uhm...let's see...on the 24th I said that all I wanted for X-mas was N in my life full-time...well, not long after thiz, I saw my dream coming true...at least it seemed as much...on the 26th, N said that she needed to talk to me...she came over and after we had eaten a candlelit dinner (awwwww....), she looked me in the eyez and told me that she and J (her man) had broken up...and that it was over for real thiz tyme...and on top of that...she said that she broke up with him...for me. *tear* How deep iz that??? Yo, when she told me that...I was speechless...I've wanted thiz gyrl for so long and now when all I have to do iz scoop her up...I couldn't even respond...Anyway, thingz from that point on went really well and everyday that went by seemed to get better and better...I finally met her mother and her little sister...I went shoppin with em'...celebrated Kwaanza...it was really cool...her mom iz really sweet and her sister iz a 7yr old sweetheart...trust!

Everything seemed fine until Monday...Monday was the 5th day of Kwaanza...if you know anything about Kwaanza, you'd know that each day has a specific name...Anyway, the 5th day of Kwaanza has the same name az N...*smile* So, when we first started celebrating Kwaanza, she was real hype about celebrating that day...why wouldn't she be, right? Anyway, when the day came around, she called me and waz lyke..."I don't feel lyke doin' my day today..." It waz really weird to me, because she pretty much did the other dayz, and now she doesn't want to do her day? So I questioned her and then after lyke maybe 10 minutez, she was lyke, "Ok, I'm about to go celebrate Kwaanza now...I gotta go." So I waz lyke, "Am I not invited tonight?"...she waz lyke..."I gotta go...I gotta go...". It seemed really weird to me...but I didn't think anything of it...and I just let it go...( Kwaanza website...for the people interested in learning about Kwaanza...specifically the 5th day...*smile* )

So I called the next day and everything was cool...nothin' different...blah blah...So, I asked N if I could talk to her little sister...she'z such a sweetheart...I always talk to her at least once if she's at home when I'm talkin' to N...Anyway, we were talkin...just about nothing as usual...and then she just started tellin' me about Kwaanza...she alwayz asks me if I'm coming over to celebrate Kwaanza with them...Anyway, she asked me why I didn't come over for Kwaanza on N'z day...and I told her that N told me that she didn't want me to come or whateva...and then she told me that J was over there that night and her mom told her that we didn't lyke each other, so thatz why I couldn't come over that day...that waz brand new information to me...I had no idea that J was over there that night and THAT waz the reason that N supposedly didn't want to celebrate her day that night...instead of her just tellin' me that J was over there, I had to find thiz out from a 7yr old that had no idea wat' she was tellin' me...Itz funny...because I have no position to be upset, but if she was so "done" wit' thiz dude, then why iz he at her house celebratin' Kwaanza wit her and her family? So, after I talked to her sister...I was upset...and I got off the phone...she got online and asked me what was wrong with me and I told her that nothing was wrong...but if you know me, you know when I'm lying and when I'm telling the truth about how I'm feeling...but, I wanted to have a Happy New Year...and thiz was on the 31st...so I let it pass...why stress it? They're broke up, right? Right...

Aiight, so I let that pass...L callz me and askz me what I'm doing for New Yearz...I told him before that I really didn't have any plans, but we could have something at my house if he wanted to...So, thatz what we planned to do...We called around and invited some people...I invited N and P to come since they didn't have anything planned, and it would be nice to finally bring in the New Year with someone I cared about...so I made sure not to invite any of my female friendz that I used to date, etc. just out of respect for N...I didn't really wanna be with anyone else that night anyway, ya know? So, L and I made arrangements for the night...got some money together to buy food and drinkz...and we went out to get thingz...Anyway, earlier that day, N offered to buy something for the party...but she needed me to drive out to her house and give her some money to get it...I wanted to go and say Happy New Year to her mother and lil' sis anyway, so thiz wasn't a problem...So, while L and I were out, I called to tell her that I was on my way, but no one answered...Her mom has Caller ID and doesn't answer the phone if its not for her...understandable. I kept calling, but no one was answering, so I assumed that since she told me to bring the money, she stepped into the shower or out the door for a second, but would be right back, so I drove to her house...and if she wasn't ready, I'd just leave it with her mother until she got back...right? Well...when we got to the house, I knocked on the door, and guess who popz out the door like she'd seen a ghost? If you guessed N, you were right...N popz out the door talkin all fast and stuff...talkin' about, "J'z here...we're arguing...I think you should go..." You think I should go? If they are supposedly broken up...why is he there at 8 p.m? What iz there to argue about? And why should I leave? Shouldn't he be the one leaving? But, like I said before...I wanted to have a Happy New Year...so I didn't stress it...I asked her about the money, and she told me that she would come to my house and get it...so I left. L and I went to the Kroger that was in the neighborhood to get food and drinks, and then we started to think about something... What sense would it make for her to come to my house to get the money? Why not get it now? Hmmm...that sounds fishy doesn't it? So, I went back... I mean...if she's coming over like she said she was...why not take the money now? So I went back...but thiz tyme...when I got there...she wasn't there...her mother and sister said that she just left...and her mom offered to let me stay and wait for her, but I didn't want to do that...she left wit thiz nigga...and she wasn't comin back...I'm not stupid... I got played...and it was clear... But, I wasn't going to let that spoil my New Year...we went back to the crib...some people came over...and we had a good tyme...I called her house to leave a message on her machine...just saying Happy New Year to her fam'...and that waz it... Am I done with N? I don't know...I really don't know what to think rite now...that was the most grimey thing you could do to someone...and even to this point...(Jan 1. 2:35 p.m.)...she still hasn't even called to apologize or anything...I have no feelingz towardz her rite now...and if I don't see her again...then that would just be my new life of 2003...I need to start this New Year off right...no baggage...no false feelingz (which were obviously what we had)...no worries...I'm a good person and sometimez I guess you can give too much...but, lyke my friend told me...thiz iz 2003...live in 03'...not in the past. Today iz January 1st, 2003...I'm going to clean this place up a bit from last night...watch some bowl games...and enjoy myself...I love that gyrl...I always will...but I can't sit here and think about her...it will only make it worse...

Ok, I think that wraps up all the dayz I missed...in a nutshell... Below iz another poem...itz pretty fitting to the situation...ya think? Oh, the new song iz Tyrese...I forgot the name...I think itz "Act Like That"....maybe....maybe not...Oh well...email me if you know the right name...but until then...just listen to the words...

Happy New Year to everyone!

Lataz...




:: 1:33:00 PM [+] ::
...