:: my thoughtz ::

:: 12.24.2002 ::

All I want for Christmas...
Is You...


I know that I showed this poem before, but I just had to post it again...I'm really feelin' it rite now...N just left my house and I've never felt so empty after she'z left before...itz weird...If I could have one thing guarenteed for X-mas, it would be to have her in my life full time...itz almost 6 in the morning, so I think I'll go to bed now...Merry Christmas to everyone...I've been a good boy thiz year...maybe Santa will hook me up...(smile).

Goodnight...



:: 5:43:00 AM [+] ::
...

Slumpin...
Thiz iz not my week...


Whatz up?

I can't really rate the movie...being that it hadn't come out yet...it doesn't come out until X-mas...thanx for tellin me! Anyway, I didn't really have fun that night...I wanted to take N wit me, but she didn't wanna go...so I just went as the 5th wheel...I sat behind the other couplez and just watched Empire like a lonely lame...*frown*

Thiz iz just not my week, I guess. Maybe thingz will look up...hopefully. Not only did I not have fun last night, but today...N wasn't feelin' good and I don't lyke her gettin' mad over thingz that other people do...nah mean? Anyway, I told her that I'd come and get her and we could kick it and have a good tyme...ya know...take her mind off thingz...at first she was reluctant to come...but eventually I coarsed her to leave her house...So, on the way out...P callz and askz if she and her cousin can come too...now, don't get me wrong...I love P to death...nah mean? But, N waz upset about thingz and I was really just lookin' to chill wit her and see where her head was at...but of course...my week being the way it is...N tellz P that we'll come pick them up and they would supposedly be goin to some dudez house from my crib...yea right! Knowin' that thiz was not gonna happen...and knowin that I wouldn't get the time that I hoped for wit N...I guess I got visibly upset...and justifiably...I mean damn...I just wanted to be wit N and only N...just for tonight...we used to kick it solo alot...but recently itz been the N&P show...co-starring Rion... So, now N iz mad at me for being upset about the whole situation, when she has no reason to be mad at me...because I told her from jump what was going to happen...and it did...the dude never called...and it ended up going from what would be a nice nite wit' someone, to a lil' pajama jam...to make it worse, she even called some dude to come and get them from here...so right now when I would be hugged up watchin TV wit mi corazon...I'ma be sittin here watchin Oceanz 11 by myself...why? Because i wanted to spend time wit N...I'm sorry for caring...maybe I should be more insensitive to N'z feelinz? When she'z sad and sayz she'll call me back when she feelz better..maybe I should just get off and wait til the next day...or maybe I'll be who I am and maybe she'll wake up and realize that someone carez about her other than herself...maybe...maybe not...Oh well...I've vented enough...I need to go to bed...I was just tellin' my boy Lou about thiz gyrl...she'z the only gyrl I've ever been wit that I let run me...and she knowz it...I do alot of shyt for thiz gyrl that I wouldn't do for otha femz...I luv thiz chyk...and as the more people tell me to let her go...the more I want to be wit her...I just don't know how much longer I can wait for her to realize that you don't know what you have until itz gone...but do I have to go before she realizes it...? I hope not...

Goodnight...



:: 4:20:00 AM [+] ::
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